i give in every time to doubt ... to anxiousness ....  to the reality that i only ever will fail myself. my desire would be to not even need the courage to say what is in my heart for you. but maybe it is not even in my heart. maybe i had held to you like a life-line, but the life-line was defected and i am sunk to the bottom of this very vast ocean ... "love lifted me" was a song we sang when growing up as a child. but if love doesn't lift me, then shall i drown? i have not kept his laws ... why why why do i hate myself so much? why can't love overcome the hate in me? 

I am emptiness without you. 

if the answer is so simple, then what is the answer? 

what is the point of Love, unrealized? i let you go ... because i can not make myself do what it is you must be expecting of me to do. I am sorry ... 

I just want to love and be loved; to be part of the Light that shines to my children on what it is to be on the right side of Love. I still am on the Left ... I am as the goat wandering in the desert without a clue of why I am or even should be here in the first place. 

“The Paupers Burial Ground South of Stinson Field in San Antonio”



Interesting info in both the article and the responses to the article.

The land was turned into San JosÈ Cemetery, with the lower portion between Six Mile Creek and what’s now the airport reserved for paupers.

 Wednesday, December 12, 2012 ... E-xcited! 

"One day you will open your eyes,
and see her." ~ Tori Amos